Toying With The Past Is What We Do
by Shikiyamachi
Summary: Everything was looking up. His best friend was back and Team Seven was together again. Kaguya would lose. That was what he thought until suddenly he was falling. Now he was in pain with an oversized uniform and a voice too high. What the hell was going on? Time Travel. Gen. Epic Friendship. Rated T for Language.
1. Did I Shrink?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do  
_** Chapter One  
 _Did I Shrink?_

In the night sky, somewhere above Konohagakure, a black hole opens and ejects a body, which shouts an expletive as it lands painfully on the concrete below. All in the village remain none the wiser, the hole having closed seconds after releasing its baggage.

Kakashi groans pathetically while rolling off his back and onto his knees. His arms tremble and lose their strength, leaving his ass in the air, arms spread out and chin on the ground. He curses with a turn of the head and notices something odd and somewhat worrisome. The sleeve of his uniform is way too long, his hand where his elbow should be. He struggles back up until he is sitting on his bottom, legs spread and confined by oversized pants. Like his sleeves, his feet are right where his knees should be.

The Jōnin is in a state of utter confusion, staring incredulously at the endless fabric. It isn't until he starts having trouble breathing when he realizes his flak jacket is suffocating him, the zipper digging into his neck with bruising force. He unzips the green vest and throws it aside, the process slow and difficult when his fingers are hindered by thick sleeves. Kakashi gasps for air, rubbing the reddened indentation while trying to figure out what was happening.

All he remembers is fighting Kaguya alongside Obito and his former Genin team, and then- _nothing_. There is a blank in his memory he can't even begin to fill.

He tries calming himself by doing a series of inhales and exhales while rolling up his sleeves, but the exact opposite happens the moment he sees his right hand. His thumb pad no longer has the permanent bite mark from his summonings. Taking a good look at both hands, he loses any chance of calming down.

Where are his scars? And why are his hands so small?

Kakashi thrashes in his confining uniform, trying to stand. Instead, he continues falling flat on his face.

With a flash of irritation, he pulls a kunai from one of his pouches and cuts jagged tears into the material until his feet are finally free... his feet which are housed in sandals many sizes too big. Kakashi gapes and raises a dwarfed hand to his cheek, shuddering when he doesn't feel his face mask. He glides the hand down to search for the mask and finds the cloth around his neck, along with his hitai-ate. When he attempts to set it back into place, the mask simply falls back around his neck.

His pounding heart feels about to burst from his chest cavity as he touches his scarred eyelid, only to realize there is no scar present. Kakashi quickly slides the sandals off and stands, one hand holding his loose pants and the other lifting his shirt to see smooth and soft skin, not a hint of muscle tone.

And after glancing around him with mounting embarrassment – there was nothing but trees as far as he could tell – he tugs the oversized pants and underwear out a few inches to peer down. Kakashi is horrified to see something _definitely_ not right.

" _There's no way that's mine!_ _"_ he practically ruptures his larynx shouting in a panic.

Kakashi slaps a hand onto his mouth when he realizes the shout was more like an ear-splitting _squeal_.

His hand stays in place as he sprints out of whatever forest he landed in, stumbling as his free hand tries to keep hold of his bottom garments. Kakashi escapes from the surrounding trees only to be faced with an awfully familiar village and a recognizable monument... which only has _three_ heads carved into the mountain.

What the _hell_ is going on...?!

"Kakashi... is that you?"

 _No way... Obito_ _?_


	2. Can This Be The First Option?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Two  
 _Can This Be The First Option?_

Kakashi gawks at his friend who appears out of nowhere, his Mangekyō flaring brightly from within the looming shadows. And that is the only distinguishing part of him, because now, his face is free of scars and _child-like_. He is swimming in a black pair of pants with the bottom cuffs frayed and torn, held up by two small fists the same shade of milky white, the discoloration absent. His hair, which had lost its color after becoming the Jūbi Jinchūriki, is black again.

Obito moves toward him, still speaking with a high-pitched voice similar to his own. "This is either a _really_ bad dream, or you and I have both become brats. Personally, I'm hoping for the first option."

There is no response.

Kakashi is too busy trying to comprehend the sight before him: Obito standing here looking like a kid with the Hokage Monument behind him and Konoha in one piece, but with buildings he hasn't seen since before the Kyūbi attack, the damage which had ultimately been caused by the same person standing opposite him.

Yes, Kakashi is indeed confused, maybe somewhat optimistic, but still so confused. On one hand, yay! A possible second chance to _not_ fuck up his life. On the other hand, _how the hell did they get here_?

He collapses from where he stands in his shock, and a moment later, Obito follows.

The Uchiha plops down and falls against his side listlessly. "How the hell did we get here?" he mutters in a lighter tone.

Kakashi is startled before his shrunken body begins trembling in laughter, snorting from trying to repress it.

"It's official. You're insane, Kakashi."

Kakashi shakes his head, amused by their identical thoughts. He could almost believe Obito had returned to his former self, but the man's ruthless cruelty was ingrained so deeply, not even Naruto's words could revert the Uchiha back into the gentle, merciful boy he once was.

He casually bumps their heads together.

"Yeah, I know."


	3. Were You Neutered?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Three  
 _Were You Neutered?_

"I think time-travel is a bit of a leap, Kakashi."

"Well, it's not a dream, I'm sure. And we shouldn't remember Kaguya if we were under the Mugen Tsukuyomi. Besides, you would think we'd be wearing clothes that actually _fit_."

That ends the conversation, and though there's still a bit of doubt, they agree time travel is the best idea currently. Which is outrageous, but Kakashi and Obito decide to roll with it. Their universe manages the impossible daily.

Kakashi sighs and dislodges Obito from his side with a powerful shove, causing the Uchiha to crumple onto the pavement, smacking his cheek. As Obito curses with colorful insults, Kakashi falls to his back and pounds the ground with his little fists, acting like the child he appears to be. "It's awful! I have to go through puberty _again_!"

"I didn't think you went through puberty _the_ _first_ time," Obito petulantly retorts.

"What about you, huh?" Kakashi jumps to his feet with narrow eyes, crossing an arm while the other holds his pants. Obito stands as well while rubbing his aching cheek. "I'm surprised you grew _at all_ after having your whole right side crushed. In fact, I bet the real reason you joined Madara's cause was because your dick was crushed too! What better way to get it back than through an illusionary world."

Kakashi is expecting a fist in the face, or at least a witty comeback. Instead, Obito looks away with flushed cheeks, an expression he recognizes as _embarrassment_.

The silence has Kakashi gaping and grinning simultaneously. He speaks incredulously, and with a hint of laughter. "Oi, Obito. I was joking. Just a bit of teasing is all... say _something_ , come on."

Obito turns his face away and groans, embarrassment giving way to humiliation.

Kakashi guffaws, stepping back and setting a hand against his chest, his shoulders shaking from the force of laughter. In between the giggles, he manages only five words before falling to his knees. "Neutered... by a... boulder... kami-!"

"Shut up, you bastard! It's not funny!"

In the end, Kakashi _does_ get smacked in the face, but rather than a fist, he is sent back by Obito's knee.


	4. Daddy?

_Revamped: 31 July 2017_

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 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Four  
 _Daddy?_

Obito is running as fast as his short legs will allow, which is far slower than Kakashi who is practically a speck up ahead. He doubts he will catch up, and with a small body with no proper training, there is no chance of using chakra as an enhancer. He doesn't even know why Kakashi is running.

Ten minutes ago, they had headed for Kakashi's apartment, no longer needing to hold up their clothes after wrapping some ninja wire around themselves. When they arrived, Kakashi stopped and sprinted the other way, leaving Obito confused and in the dust.

Presently, Obito cries out, "Where the hell are we going?!" His legs are burning from exhaustion and his right side is cramping to an unbearable degree. This kind of physical pain is a near novelty for Obito who had spent almost two decades as a half-human, able to go on hours upon hours without rest or sustenance. Now he's struggling within minutes. It's pitiful.

"No- long- my apa-ment," is all he hears, Kakashi disappearing into the distance.

Obito continues to persevere, relying on his chakra sensing abilities that somehow transferred over from the past ( _future?_ ). He arrives at a decent-sized home, Kakashi standing right outside the door. Obito joins his side, peeking through the space Kakashi doesn't fill and manages to see a photo up on the wall.

He understands why Kakashi promptly left him.

His hand is grabbed. Obito stumbles as he's dragged into the house and then shoved into a small bedroom where clothes flutter on top of his head. "W-Wait! What are you doing?"

"Shut up and change." Kakashi begins stripping, tossing the remainder of his Jōnin outfit aside. He exchanges it with a blue shirt and black shorts.

Obito grumbles and drops his oversized pants, dressing in similar attire but with a grey shirt. Unfortunately, they are a size too small, his shoulders slightly broader than Kakashi's. A sneer crosses his face. Being reduced to this juvenile form...

Oh, how far he has fallen.

"Careful," the other boy – man? he's not sure anymore – dryly warns, "Your face will get stuck like that. Then I won't be able to tell you apart from the rest of the Uchiha population."

...That's right. His wretched clan is alive now, the massacre a thing of his future ( _past? fuck it_ ). And though Obito would do it all over again right at this very moment, he knows Kakashi would interfere. Which is a weird thought, he thinks, because as children the first time around, _Kakashi_ was the one to suggest the _cruelest_ method, while _Obito_ fought for the _peaceable_ method. The role reversal is a bit disorientating.

When they exit from the bedroom, an unfamiliar voice calls out his friend's name. "Kakashi-kun?" The man Obito sees resembles the other boy, apart from the age lines beneath his fatigued eyes

The one in the photo... Hatake Sakumo.

Obito isn't expecting much of a reaction from Kakashi since he's a veteran Shinobi, trained to regulate his emotions even under extreme duress. However, the sudden appearance of his long dead father, along with his regressed body, seems to have deteriorated his composure, because Kakashi immediately tackles the man in a desperate embrace, crying into his right pant leg.

"Tōsan!"

All Obito thinks is... _awkward_.


	5. Why Can't You Think Before You Speak?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Five  
 _Why Can't You Think Before You Speak?_

"So, who's your friend, Kakashi-kun?"

Obito unconsciously shies away from Sakumo, who sits across from him and Kakashi at the chabudai.

Something about the man is unsettling, and his best guess is that Kakashi's father is too _nice_. He remembers the horror stories of Konoha's White Fang on the whispers of fellow missing-nin. Years after his death, and still, just a mention of his name struck absolute fear. But facing him is a gentle-looking soul, his smile smoothing the lines marking his aging face.

He sees the man who risked a mission failure to protect his teammates, but as an S-ranked criminal, Obito is aware of the hardened shinobi before him, and that Sakumo appears to be anything _but_ , is disturbingly akin to his stint as Tobi. Obito is suddenly aware of how vulnerable he is in this shrunken form.

He doesn't like it.

Obito glances at Kakashi when the boy wraps an arm around his shoulders, pointing with his other hand. "This is Uchiha Obito. He's my best friend." The casual warmth in his voice sets Obito at ease, only because Kakashi is in the same predicament, and _he_ didn't have the Sharingan to help him out of a predicament.

"It's very nice to be acquainted, Hatake-san." Obito offers a head bow.

Sakumo returns the gesture. "You met at the Academy, I presume?"

"That's right," Kakashi chirps.

"We're in the same class," Obito adds.

Kakashi had attended the Academy only for a year before graduating at age five, soon after his father committed seppuku. That means he and Kakashi were sent back to some point within that year, making Obito six years old now.

"Do you enjoy it there?"

Obito doesn't even contemplate an age-appropriate answer when he replies, his pitch deepening, "Perhaps if most children attending weren't so fucking useless, I would at least consider it somewhat worthwhile. As of now, though, it is a disgrace."

There is an uncomfortable silence following his condescending criticism.

Beside him, Kakashi facepalms.


	6. I Have A Split Personality?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Six  
 _I Have A Split Personality?_

Kakashi has only a split second to fix Obito's stupidity, and in that short time, he comes up with the most _idiotic_ idea. And he wonders, if two wrongs were to make a right, does twice the stupidity make a brilliant plan? Kakashi likes to think so as he slaps the Uchiha over the head and sternly says, "My father asked _Obito_ , not you, Madara."

What the hell is wrong with him?

Obito's incredulous expression conveys similar sentiments. Luckily for him, Obito is an ace manipulator and able to bullshit his way through anything, especially when it involves masquerading as two separate individuals. _Maybe_ , Kakashi muses with an image of Tobi toying with Naruto and Kiba, _this could work._

It would also be an adequate cover for Obito's more belligerent slips.

That in mind, Kakashi buries his masked face into his palms and releases a distraught sob. "I'm so sorry, Tōsan! For Obito's sake, I was never going to tell you the truth, but Obito himself has left me no choice." He faces his father, faux tears dribbling down his cheeks. "You see, he is an orphan and abandoned by his clan, doomed to loneliness his whole life. The solitude was so great he developed two different personalities, one dumber than ramen and another so bitter, you'd spit him right back out."

Kakashi isn't even sure what he's spewing at this point, but he knows that look of absolute concentration, his father leaning forward with thin lips and a furrowed brow. He has the man's full attention. "I'm the only one who knows and the one person willing to befriend him." Kakashi sniffs and swipes an arm across his face. "So please, Tōsan, don't hate Obito for his nastiness. He doesn't mean it, honest."

 _There's no way he'll fall for that_ , Obito thinks while watching the display, _this is Hatake Sakumo we're talking abou-_

"Oh, how tragic!"

A chibi-Obito perched on his shoulder falls, legs in the air.

Obito just sighs. _Really, are you serious_?

Sakumo is rubbing his own watery eyes, bemoaning about a cruel world and heartless Uchihas and praising his luck to have such a compassionate son. Obito nearly vomits at the spectacle, but he confesses a small part of himself misses those carefree moments acting as Tobi. His brief partnership with Deidara was one of the few batch of memories he frequently revisited.

(He was not ashamed to admit he missed the blond brat. Deidara had grown on him, and his jutsu was always a dramatical spectacle. He was also the funniest to mess with. Deidara's endless ploys to see beneath his swirled mask reminded him of all the times children tried seeing Kakashi's face. Yeah, they never succeeded either.)

Forgoing his inhibitions, Obito flings himself across the table and wraps his arms around the older man's middle. Heightening his pitch to its max, Obito weeps pitifully. "Please don't cry! Tobi sorry! Tobi has no control of Madara! He's too mean to Tobi! Tobi powerless!"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Tobi-chan! It's not your fault!"

 _What have I done_? Kakashi groans in his head, marveling at the sight of his father and best friend embracing with Obito personating a traumatized, child version of Tobi. He must be dreaming.

He has to be.

 _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…_


	7. So It's Back To The Academy?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Seven  
 _So It's Back To The Academy?_

"Hurry, Obito! We're twenty minutes late."

Obito must interrupt at that point as he slips on his borrowed sandals. "What the fuck are you talking about, Bakashi? You're the bastard who _purposely waited_ until five minutes ago to _wake me up, dammit_!"

He is pissed. If there is anyone he can count on to be punctual, it is Kakashi… or so he thought. Not the case now, apparently. He really doesn't know much about this irresponsible version of his friend, and honestly, he's not looking forward to seeing more if shit like this keeps happening.

Last night after Obito had supposedly taken back control of his true personality, Sakumo had sent them both to bed as Obito's apartment was on the opposite side of the village. Sleeping here without a set of his own clothes, Obito is forced to wear the same outfit he was tossed. Kakashi, however, is dressed in his Academy attire, wearing his signature green scarf Obito would enjoying choking him with.

Kakashi is imitating the ticking noise of a clock as he taps the heel of his foot hard against the wall. "Tick tock, tick tock."

Obito replies with his middle finger, a gesture he learned from Hidan.

"Oh, that's just rude."

"I think it sums up everything I feel about you."

"Now you're gonna make me cry, Obito."

"And what a beautiful sight that would be!"

"…"

"…"

"…If I had a friendship bracelet, I'd throw it at you."

When the two time travelers arrive at the Academy thirty minutes late, they lose another ten minutes searching for their classroom. Too many years had passed to remember irrelevant details, and out of frustration, Obito acquiesces, going off and asking a wandering sensei for their room number.

He's annoyed when the man gives him a scolding for his careless attitude, and to be a competent Shinobi, one must be more responsible. Obito is tempted to Kamui the man's head off, but imagining a slew of lectures by Kakashi deters him. He'll let the Chūnin's impudence slide, just this once.

Obito meets Kakashi at the entrance and leads the other boy to their assigned room, complaining about the lack of respect in their miserable excuse of an Academy. He studiously ignores Kakashi's eye rolling.

Before opening the classroom door, Obito breathes in deep, and in his peripheral view, he sees Kakashi do the same.

They both share similar thoughts about Rin, uncertain if they could handle seeing her without having an internal crisis.

But at this point, they didn't have a choice.


	8. Do I Smell A Liar?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Eight  
 _Do I Smell A Liar?_

Obito regrets being the first inside the classroom, because as he calls out an apology for their tardiness, his forehead is pelted by an eraser. He growls, "You insolent, son of a-"

A hand covers his mouth while an arm tightly grips his waist, halting the scream of profanity that would have done more bad than good, not that Obito cared. He'll say it again: there is no respect in this miserable excuse of an academy.

(The man-boy seems to forget he is no longer the infamous masked man, back to being the ever-late Uchiha black sheep.)

Kakashi digs his fingers into his cheek, and Obito takes it as a warning to stop struggling. His flailing limbs sag and he keeps silent as Kakashi talks for the both of them.

No matter, Obito prefers not to waste breath for such a weak ninja, teacher or not.

But the second he hears the other's monologue – yes, that's right, _monologue_ – Obito wishes he had never allowed Kakashi to take the reins.

He should have learned from this morning.

"Maa, forgive our lateness, Sensei," he languidly begins, "you see, on my way to the Academy, I ran into Obito who was helping a senior woman across the street. We decided to walk together, but unfortunately for our attendance records, we met with some problems. First was a black cat that crossed our path and under a ladder, which if we had gone ahead, we would have had twice the amount of bad luck. Thus, we had to take the longest way here. That was the beginning of our adventure.

Next, we had to help a group of children fend off their bullies, who for some reason all had purple markings under their eyes, making them look like pedophilic snakes. Obito did an awesome air kick that landed two of the meanies in the hospital while I took the other two out using a technique I call the Oiroke Jutsu, a secret technique reserved for the worst kinds of people, and sometimes those who just naturally piss you off. The children dropped to their knees and praised us like we were Hokage-sama himself. One of the little girls even handed us a few flowers.

Sadly, after that, those beautiful flowers were lost when a bunch of crows with weasel faces started to peck at our heads, and for some strange reason, they were accompanied by fish with wings made from clay that spat tons of tiny bombs at us. Obito and I had never fled so fast, especially when a couple of women joined the fray, carrying scythes and screaming about money and bloodthirsty gods.

Luckily we were saved by paper puppets controlled by a man with red and blue hair and multiple piercings, but unluckily, he forced us to return the favor. He asked me to do a little dance for him, which I did. But then he asked Obito to join his group of criminals bent to control the world through an illusion of epic proportions. I had to get us out of there, so then I had to use my second special technique, Hāremu Jutsu. It was super effective, knocking him out completely, and finally we could reach the Academy.

Lastly, we headed for the bathrooms where we combed our hair and brushed the debris from our clothes, and now, here we are in your presence, forty minutes late."

Kakashi finishes with a bow, bringing them both down ninety degrees, "Obito and I apologize."

To Obito's amazement and utter disbelief, their Academy sensei merely stares and then sighs, placing a hand over his entire face. "Just- Just sit down, you two," he mutters, exasperated.

Obito wonders. Is he really a master manipulator, or is the person smiling freely beside him the true master?

He's not so sure anymore as Kakashi drags him to a desk by the wrist.

As they settle in their seats, that is when he realizes where the other boy led him.

Rin turns her head to give them a humored smile.

 _Why, oh why me…_


	9. Do I Deserve To Be Here?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Nine  
 _Do I Deserve To Be Here?_

He knows this stuff.

He _knows_ this stuff.

Why does he have to go over it again?

And having Rin beside him all the while- just, why?

Obito tangles his hair around his fingers, staring down at his desk with a stressed expression. His last moments of Rin flash before his eyes, the sight of her dead on the ground, bleeding out with Kakashi unconscious next to her. His two most treasured friends, one without a chance to enjoy the rest of her life, and the other abandoned to suffer under the guilt of a broken promise and a friend killed by his own hand.

 _And it was all his fault_ _._

Because the only way Madara found worth in him was with a Mangekyō Sharingan, which had resulted in Rin's death and Kakashi's self-hatred. If he hadn't always been late, to save Kakashi and himself, or to stop Rin from committing suicide, then perhaps the future would have achieved true peace, one not involving a world war bringing the nation together.

How can he sit between these two and pretend his past never happened?

Of all individuals to be sent time travelling, he doesn't deserve to be-

"How lucky we were to be sent back here together."

The gleeful whisper breaks through his depressive state.

Obito jolts from his scrunched position and turns to Kakashi. The other boy is inches away, close enough that Obito can see his optimistic smile outlined by the mask. Kakashi taps his shoulder and adds, "It's like a second chance, you know?"

With that, he faces the front of the room where the Chūnin sensei is warning them with a glare.

Obito doesn't bother stifling his own smile as he returns the friendly gesture, patting the other boy's back. He glances leftward with his smile widening, just short of a grin. Rin reciprocates the quirk of lips, albeit with a touch of confusion.

He had forgotten what it was like to be even remotely happy, the genuine pull at his cheek muscles a testament to that.

It felt, rather nice, actually.


	10. What Was Their Name Again?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Ten  
 _What Was Their Name Again?_

"Angsting is over, Obito. It's about time we have some fun," Kakashi murmurs jovially while waiting in line for shuriken/kunai practice.

The Uchiha rips his gaze away from a carefree Rin who sits with her girlfriends, laughing.

"What are you going on about?"

Kakashi answers with an ear-splitting grin, disfiguring his normally bored-looking eyes into something mischievous, a sight Obito is just getting used to, and with the mask on, he also notes the expression as being _creepy as hell_ _._

Obito dreads the response.

"It's something my former student called… pranking."

Anything alluding to one Uzumaki Naruto immediately sets Obito on edge and he scoots back a few inches. "So…" he begins slowly, "stuff like drawing on a person's face while they're sleeping?"

"You idiot." Kakashi rolls his eyes, lightly backhanding the other boy's shoulder. "We're technically in our thirties and have fought in two world wars. We have the advantage, Obito. Imagine what we can do with our knowledge and skills. And with Kamui, we can do so much more outside the village and no one would even notice."

Obito briefly thinks of bastards like Danzō and Orochimaru. And then he spends a good minute imagining Madara and Zetsu suffering by his hand, never realizing just _who_ was toying with them and why. He even entertains a few, more innocent daydreams of paying Kushina back for all those times she messed with him.

And with Sakumo believing he has some form of personality disorder, well, that presents an excuse to act however he wants without too much repercussion.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad an idea.

"Hatake Kakashi!"

The duo time travelers whip around at the abrupt call.

Another sensei with a name Obito doesn't care to remember is beckoning the former Jōnin to the straw target. Kakashi, while standing up, groans out, "This, I did not miss."

Kakashi ends up piercing two rings, two kunai within the central ring and his eight other weapons stuck inside the middle ring in a squiggly circle.

It's child's play, Obito internally remarks, more so than when his friend was a five-year-old the first time around. As always, the boys are glaring in jealousy and the girls are practically swooning with hearts in their eyes, typical reactions from ignorant brats.

Some boys are not impressed by Kakashi's accuracy, but he has forgotten their names as well. He knows the one sitting under a tree, the son of the Sandaime Hokage who was slain by Hidan, and the white-haired kid is Hibiki – or was it Abiki? whatever – but he is pretty much drawing blanks on the others.

"Uchiha Obito!"

Kakashi returns to his side, falling to his ass and prompting him, "Do your _best_."

The emphasis on 'best' has Obito smiling impishly. "I plan to."

Facing the target with kunai and shuriken in hand, Obito peeks to the side and represses the snicker wanting to come out. The sensei possesses a look of dread and he can hear giggling and insults from behind, suggesting he and Kakashi are at least halfway into the semester, which means everybody is expecting an embarrassing attempt to outdo his 'rival.'

Kakashi's proposal of fun sounds _absolutely wonderful_ , especially after he launches the weapons at the practice dummy.

Five kunai and five shuriken all hit the central ring of the bullseye, the stars lined up without space and surrounded by the daggers, forming a perfect circle.

The stunned silence he receives has Obito excited for the upcoming mayhem he and his friend will soon be unleashing onto their enemies and allies.

And a bit smug, because the awakened child within Obito can't help but gloat.

Obito: 1 and Kakashi: 0


	11. Isn't This A Bit Too Childish?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Eleven  
 _Isn't This A Bit Too Childish?_

* _poke_ *

If there is anything Ibushi fears, it's ghosts. It may be irrational, but the idea of a creature that cannot be killed by natural means terrifies him. Makes him feel weak and useless.

* _poke_ *

But luckily for him, ghosts don't exist… right?

* _poke_ *

Yes, it's probably his imagination, or perhaps a bug he can't see.

* _poke_ *

Nothing supernatural at all.

* _poke_ *

Damn, this is more annoying than Uchiha Obito. That kid is always late, and it seems he's affected Kakashi too. That nonsensical story he heard- how was he supposed to react? It was just so ludicrous. He couldn't say a word in the end. A week break from the Academy, and when the best and worst student are suddenly seen together like friends, this is what he gets.

* _poke_ *

Uchiha is lucky Hatake stopped whatever he was about to say, otherwise Ibushi would have done more than just throw an eraser at the kid's forehead.

* _poke poke_ *

 _Gah! What the fu-_

* _poke poke poke_ *

He whips around, again and again, meeting nothing but empty air.

* _poke_ * * _poke_ * * _poke_ * * _poke_ *

He concludes only one thing…

"Ghost!"

Ibushi screams, tossing his paperwork aside and fleeing down the hall with flailing arms.

Kakashi's head comes popping up from behind a window. He knocks on the glass and is then pulled through by a now visible Obito who is grinning boyishly, high-pitched giggles escaping every few seconds.

 _With that look, I wouldn't believe he's a thirty-one-year-old S-rank criminal_ , Kakashi muses.

Aloud, he says, "That was so lame."

"Are you kidding me? It was fucking awesome! I've always wanted to do something like that."

He really should have known Obito would think of such a childish prank, but he did enjoy the sight of their Academy sensei screaming at the top of his lungs, tripping over his own feet as if Kaguya herself was out to molest him.

Kakashi looks away for only a moment, but when he looks back…

Obito is long gone.

 _It's times like these when I wish I still had Obito's Sharingan…_

Where the hell did he go now?

Two hours later, Kakashi finds himself sighing at a ridiculous display.

"Hokage-sama, we apologize, but as long as this apparition remains in the Academy, none of us are returning. The strike shall continue," states Ibushi-sensei.

Every sensei in Konoha's Academy are pacing outside with wooden signs and handmade posters, chanting made-up words to protect themselves from the 'demonic soul haunting their work space.'

 _ **ON STRIKE! NO WORK WITH GHOST!**_

 _ **Education for the living! Not the dead!**_

The Sandaime, with brown hair and less wrinkles, is shaking his head. He pulls down the Hokage hat to cover his ashamed expression, seeming to be mourning for the loss of sanity in his subordinates. The younger Koharu and Homura are at his sides, still trying to convince the group of Chūnin that ghosts are not real, but of course…

"You go in there if you're so sure then," a female Chūnin snaps, goading the aging duo to enter the so-called haunted Academy.

Kakashi knows better.

Sarutobi's former teammates enter the building only to rush out five minutes later, robes singed and smoking as they wave signs of their own.

He can't help but facepalm.

 _This is gonna be a looong day…_


	12. So What's The Plan?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Twelve  
 _So What's The Plan?_

Two weeks after the ghost incident he caused, Obito casually says, "We totally need a hit list."

Kakashi is surprised his friend spoke at all with how focused he had been on Rin, though to be fair, he stares at the girl just as much. They are discreet, of course, since Obito is subtle – something the old Obito _never_ was – and Kakashi wants to avoid attracting rumors. The last thing he wants are fangirls cutting their hair short and coloring it brown while painting their cheeks purple. Such was the case of his former student Sasuke, who had girls growing out their hair over a fallacious rumor.

He personally doubts the broody brat had preferences, considering his obsession with vengeance and Itachi.

The thought of Sasuke being with anyone is laughable, and noticing Obito's creeped out expression, he is probably making a weird, strangled giggle.

He thinks about Rin again, the likelihood of her dying a second time should they continue interacting with her. They had already decided to avoid becoming her teammates, in hopes to keep her safe from their most dangerous enemies.

"There are a few people we should consider taking out before they become a problem," Kakashi finally replies in agreement.

He realizes Obito was talking about something completely different when the Uchiha reiterates, "I meant a list of people to prank, but…" he pauses to grin maliciously, "if you want to start killing any future annoyances, I know just where to start."

Kakashi sighs, shaking his head. "We won't be killing any Uchiha in this village, got it?"

"I helped Itachi killed them all before," Obito pouts. He then smiles proudly, "It was one of the best days of my life."

"…You worry me."

"Fine, no killing," he promises, cruelty shining deep in his eyes.

Kakashi narrows his own eyes, deciding to add with caution, "And no maiming or dismembering. In fact, no blood spilling at all. Or burning." He didn't trust his friend to _not_ pursue any loopholes, and death was perhaps the kindest fate Obito could inflict on someone.

From the other boy's deepening scowl, Kakashi had been correct about Obito's dark intentions.

"Besides," Kakashi tries to soothe, "you can do whatever you want to Uchiha Madara. You have more against him than anyone else."

Madara's manipulations had resulted in Rin becoming a disposable pawn, and he and Obito fell right into his trap. If Obito hadn't come along with him to the past, Kakashi would have planned to exact revenge on the bastard the moment he realized what had happened. He is not here alone, however, so Obito had more right to the man's life than he did.

...

Obito hunches and gathers a clump of his hair in a fist, looking off to the side. There was also Zetsu to consider. White Zetsu and Guruguru would be with Madara at this point, while Black Zetsu would still be in hiding. As long as Madara perishes and the plant pests are sealed away, they would have nothing to worry about on that end. Nagato and his companions, though, their wretched destiny was the result of Hanzō's paranoia and Danzō's influence. Without Danzō alive to cause needless trouble, the Ame trio would be safe and free to make peace with Hanzō.

Oddly, Konan's solemn, defiant expression stands out in his memories, his chest aching from a distantly familiar twinge.

He soon recognizes the feeling as guilt, but he swiftly wills it away. Had she just given him the location of Nagato's Rinnegan, her life would have been spared. He had been very kind in his approach, too. There was no way he would apologize for her own stubbornness.

"We have no choice but to get rid of Danzō. Not even Naruto could talk him out of his ideology."

Kakashi laughs at the mention of Naruto, but he seems hesitant to agree with the first statement.

Obito insists, "Trust me, Kakashi, Danzō is responsible for more tragedies than you can imagine. Better to off him now before he sinks his claws into the more influential players."

Kakashi ponders his words, then concedes. "He tried using me against Sandaime-sama once, so I can't disagree with you. Plus, we may not have to concern ourselves with Orochimaru if Danzō isn't alive to encourage his experiments."

Obito grimaces as he remembers the old man's arm full of Sharingan, an offensive sight that urged him to take Sasuke's place in the megalomaniac's demise. Then there were the two ROOT members he had eventually disposed of and… there is the guilt again.

His kill count is too high for guilt at this point though, and besides, every death was their own fault. And existing regrets were their own, as well.

(Obito figures he will believe his own bullshit over time. Kakashi would just cut in and tell him to stop being in denial.)

...

Kakashi watches as Obito begins smacking his forehead out of nowhere, frustration oozing from his conflicted form.

The Uchiha may have overcome most of his instability thanks to Naruto's supernatural talking abilities, but it was not enough to fix every ridiculous thing that goes through Obito's head.

Kakashi doesn't bother questioning his strange behavior because of this, saying, "We're not gonna get anywhere though if we keep going to the Academy. Maa… I forgot the lesson's lasted until late afternoon. And then there's the homework…" he trailed off, grimacing in misery.

Obito suddenly stops slapping himself. His head shoots up, hands in the air. "Duh!"

"What?"

These mood swings are giving him whiplash.

Obito leans forward, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and using his free hand to point a thumb towards them. He delays his answer for some effect, and then responds enthusiastically.

"Bakashi, I think it's time we graduate!"


	13. Academy Jutsu Are Bullshit, Aren't They?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Thirteen  
 _Academy Jutsu Are Bullshit, Aren't They?_

Graduating is a simple process… in theory.

Because apparently, when an S-ranked shinobi is reverted to the body of a child, they are suddenly crap at the simplest of jutsu. Need a gigantic fireball- easy. A water dragon capable of drowning hundreds- here you go. An avalanche of rocks- why not. A powerful gust of wind to dry someone off- pfft, of course. An awesome thunder storm- let's do it!

A standard trio of clones… uh, yeah. No, wait-! Let's try again! Okay, one more time. Another! Again…!

…Yeah, even Naruto would have aced this by now.

Kakashi glares at his single, translucent and slack-faced clone lying spread eagle on the ground. Dammit all.

Across from him, Obito is participating in a staring contest… with a log. Kakashi knows Obito will lose.

How?

Because he's psychic.

(Not because the battle is against an inanimate object, obviously.)

Obito's eyes are glazed over, his eyebrows dipped as low as possible in his attempt to be victorious over this dirty, moss-covered piece of tree. His hands are whiter than snow after being in the ram seal for so long – three minutes to be precise – and his arms and shoulders quiver with the strain. This log is his bitch _and it will do as he says_!

 _RIGHT now_.

 _Right NOW_.

 _RIGHT NOW_.

 _NOW_ …!

Kakashi sweatdrops as Obito tackles the bark with an enraged screech, biting and scratching with his red, pinwheel eyes spinning like a vortex. Carnivorous snarling erupts from his mouth, his nose bunched in a rippled effect and his vampire-like fangs carving irregular patterns into the wood.

Watching his mentally insane best friend, Kakashi doesn't notice the thing coming up from behind until a bulky, yet long shadow envelops his kid-body.

The masked ninja tenses. He twirls with a kunai in hand and readies an attack until he realizes what has approached him.

A kitten.

But how is that possible? The shadow had belonged to something bigger than a pint-sized fur ball.

The creature mewls, a cute sound. Captivated by its adorableness, he questions nothing else and drops to his knees, about to pet the feline.

Obito's animalistic cries fade just as the kitten lifts onto its hind legs and _roars_. The tiny jaw grows twice the normal size, the top and bottom unhinging with one-inch serrated fangs lengthening to six-inches and more until its jagged tongue and the inside of its cheeks are completely shielded from sight.

Kakashi screams at a higher frequency than anyone in history and collapses to his butt, hands sliding him backwards bit by bit on the grass of the training ground before managing to get back on his feet and flee from the monster _following him and someone please help him,_ _it's a demon…!_

He glances back, his heart beating enough for a possible heart attack, but at that moment, Kakashi runs head-first into a tree.

The time traveler stands stunned, and then faints.

...

Kakashi comes to with chortling blasting in his ears.

He knows he has been played when he finds Obito on his stomach, banging his fist on the ground with tears dribbling down his reddened cheeks with another Obito clawing the air, hissing.

Damn shadow clones…

Wait-

"Obito?"

The two Uchiha look-a-likes freeze. They turn to his collapsed form with guilty grins.

"Yeah?"

"That was the Henge Jutsu," he inanely points out.

Obito times two shrugs. "It was all I could manage of the three Academy jutsu," they reply simultaneously.

Kakashi stares dumbly. "But that doesn't make any sense!" he finally screams, frustrated.

As he mutters curses, Obito suggests, "Maybe we can substitute the Bunshin with Kage Bunshin." His shadow clone disperses, the real Obito wiping the tears of amusement from his face and kicking the log that still refuses to trade places with him.

"It isn't difficult to distinguish between a solid clone and an illusion, Obito."

A scoff. "We're dealing with low-level Chūnin, Bakashi. The only reason they teach at the Academy is because it's all they're good for."

"Wow," Kakashi breathes, though he is unsurprised. Had he known Umino Iruka personally like Naruto, he may have fought in their defense, but instead, he just declares, "You, are a jerk."

Obito rolls his eyes at the back of his companion ambling away, and he leisurely follows, whistling a random tune as loud and obnoxious as possible behind Kakashi.

Obito: 2 and Kakashi: 0


	14. Dogs Or Cats?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Fourteen  
 _Dogs Or Cats?_

The sun had set a few hours ago, casting Konoha into shadows with only the moon and village lights as a guide through pitch black.

The two time-travelers are currently in an alley, doing… well, Obito doesn't know, really.

He knows he's bored and running out of patience, and while that was never a problem in his future, Kakashi destroys whatever forbearance Madara had instilled in him.

(It reminds him how Madara fixed and destroyed him simultaneously.)

Obito glares at the former-Jōnin who is looking over the crate they are hiding behind, ignoring Obito's restlessness. Eventually, he clutches Kakashi's scarf and yanks so the other boy lays on his back. He stares down with a vexed sneer. "What the hell are we doing here? I'm fucking bored, you know!"

 _I miss sweet, naïve Obito_ , Kakashi mourns. Aloud, he says, "Waiting. Duh."

The Uchiha's eyes narrow and bleed to crimson. He places a hand over the other boy's heart and phases, his hand going through Kakashi's body and the ground below.

"You wouldn't dare," Kakashi mutters.

Obito smirks, aligning their faces with evil intent swimming in his red gaze. "Try me…"

They stare each other down until Kakashi folds, rolling his eyes while drawling out a long "fine." He knows Obito won't kill him, but honestly, his friend is too unpredictable. He is certain Obito will do _something_ involving pain if left in the dark for too much longer.

Obito helps him up and then crouches behind the crate, anticipation rising as Kakashi hand seals the transformation technique. The resulting smoke clears to reveal… a dog?

A small dog, with silver fur and a gray snout. It's actually adorable, and throw him over a cliff, he just called Kakashi adorable. How late is it again?

Kakashi rests his front paws on Obito's thigh, tilting his little head with his tongue lolling over his chin. _Of course_ he has to go all out with this new appearance. It is not adorable, merely obnoxious, really. No way adorable.

Someone then walks by, an intoxicated middle-aged man with a sake bottle in one hand. He's mumbling under his breath, face flushed pink from the alcohol and tripping over his own feet.

 _That is just embarrassing_ , Obito thinks with a palm over his face. _Where's the self-respect these days?_

Kakashi quickly abandons his position on Obito's leg and rushes toward the man, barking periodically while swaying left to right in a drunken manner beside him. The man eventually stops and stares. He scratches his chin, baffled by the dog's behavior. Seeing it stop moving as well, he subsequently stumbles back three steps. The dog attempts to follow, only for its hind legs to bend inward, collapsing to its bottom. The stunned expression sets the man off in a fit of giggles and hiccups, falling to his knees and patting Kakashi's furry head.

The man finally staggers off, waving gleefully at the dog running in circles. Once he is out of sight, Kakashi negates the jutsu, throwing Obito double thumbs up.

Obito crosses his arms and sighs. "And what was the point of that, puppy dog?"

Kakashi grins big enough to be seen through the mask. "Let's just say there is someone special who never fails to walk this route, and I think they deserve a…" he giggles mischievously, " _warm_ welcome. But until then…"

Curious Obito is, but vocal his friend is not. He abstains from an aggressive interrogation, deciding to accompany Kakashi's insanity, though not without some form of fight. He refuses to reduce himself to a dog of all creatures.

A few minutes later, another pair of footsteps near.

The time-travelling Uchiha is replaced by a cat with sleek obsidian fur, ears painted white as homage to his former-whitened hair and eyes colored blood red. With polished grace, the feline leaps onto a garbage bin and then a roof, readying for the person walking by. Its mutt of a companion watches intently in the shadows, and when a young woman strides by, the cat dives with a wide stretch of its limbs.

Their target is mentally occupied by boyfriend problems, visualizing possible reactions to a separation, so when a weight lands on her shoulder, she justifiably shrieks. Waving her arms frantically, the cat on her shoulder slips down her front, claws hooking into her shirt and unbalancing her. She does a one-eighty-degree skid and plunges to the ground, back first. Dazed, she does not shoo the cat off her, even as it nuzzles her face and leaves fur along her nose and cheeks.

"I know you did that on purpose," she drily comments with a sigh, petting along the forehead and its endearing white ears that flicker beneath her fingers.

As she stands and continues on her way, she realizes her anxiety has waned, no longer as debilitating.

…She should really pick up a cat from the pet shop this week.

Inu-kashi and Neko-bito bump their heads together as her silhouette disappears, and as more citizens are subject to their shenanigans, Obito can acknowledge this is actually a bit fun. It is a nice change of pace from the brooding and plotting of his previous life in the future.

He can almost pretend he is six years old again as he and Kakashi chase each other at the feet of a little girl. She twirls on her toes, giggling with jubilation when the black cat bounds over her head and the dog knocks its little head against her knees. A man hollers her name, and visibly disappointed, she reaches out for a quick pat on the dog's back while the cat brushes along her leg.

She vanishes into the distance as they undo the transformation.

Obito crosses his arms, begrudgingly saying, "I have to admit. She was cute."

Kakashi 'awws' and pokes the Uchiha's cheek. "Looks like Obito's going soft," he coos.

"Shut up," Obito snaps, slapping the digit away.

Just as the silver-haired ninja is about to reply with something provocative, jaunty laughter sounds behind them.

They flinch and, cursing their inattentiveness, whip around to see their former teammate.

Obito freezes for a moment, trying to regain some semblance of his long-forgotten infectious grin. He manages a feeble smile after observing Kakashi whose eyes go from cold to warm then back again, before deciding on a smile with his eyes crinkled shut. Rin responds to their convivial expressions by walking out of the shadows from a neighboring building.

When Rin comes up to them, she smiles back. "You guys were so adorable. It was really fun to watch."

Obito falters, trying to decide on a non-biting response, so accustomed to being the jerk Kakashi classifies him as.

He settles with a simple, "Thank you, Rin," his intonation borderline sad, which the girl doesn't notice.

Kakashi seems to have an easier time with social exchanges, not limited to Obito and his father, as he says, "But it's much more fun when you're the one doing it."

Rin's eyes widen, probably shocked Kakashi interacted with her in such a friendly manner. Although he had become cold and bitter after his father's suicide, before, Kakashi had still been somewhat of a loner, and rarely, if ever, intermingled with his classmates.

She recovers from her shock and shyly looks away with a slight blush, requesting, "Could I join in?"

They say yes, in the end, because even if they could not become her teammates, they could still be her friends.

Five minutes later, a familiar head of blond hair is seen.

Obito loses control of his facial muscles, jaw dropping when he registers the man – _boy_ , he reminds himself, _he's only fifteen here_ – is their former sensei, Namikaze Minato, a tiny notebook in hand and writing in a frenzy. He remembers their sensei had yet to master the Hiraishin, three years too early, which means he would be unable to flash away should they… _greet_ _him_ properly.

He glances at Kakashi to see thrilled anticipation just as he returns to his mutt form. He looks to Rin who grins eagerly before choosing to transform into a long-haired brown dog, its paws inked dark purple as to seem black without close view. As he shrinks into a cat, he realizes Team Minato has reunited, though far younger than when they had been assigned as a team previously. Almost like a family reunion, only with tragedy, betrayal, and manipulation in the background. Yep, one big happy family…

Obito and Kakashi crouch down and ready their paws, Rin following suit and waiting for their signal.

Even as the blond passes by with them shadowing him, he takes no notice of his stalkers until a sudden sequence of growls and hisses assault his ears. The target tenses and rotates, scanning his line of sight before bowing his head to locate the source. When blue eyes settle on the wide-open mouths framing their pointed canines, the pen and notebook slip from his paralytic fingers.

Minato gradually steps back only for the three animals to prowl forward, drool dripping from the dogs' muzzles. The sole feline crouches lower, its spine arching until the fur begins to elevate. He has a mere second to whimper before they pursue his sprinting figure. Panicking, he forgets he could easily jump to the rooftops, continuing to run through the main road and sometimes straying to the secret routes he had memorized over the years. At every abrupt corner, his sandals slide across the dirt in his haste, and every glimpse behind is greeted by the glowing eyes of the devil black cat and its savage minions.

All throughout the chase, he is screaming at a shrill decibel, inciting civilians to dart from their houses to point and laugh at his misfortune. Others are less amused, mainly parents, shouting with irritation and rage for causing such ruckus past dusk and 'think of the children.'

He misses the commotion around him, fleeing for an hour that is a mere fifteen minutes in real time. By the fortieth backward glance, Minato realizes the cat and silver dog have grown bigger, more menacing and demonic. Both his sides cramping and heart practically forcing itself out from his ribcage, he scurries to a lone tree in a farmer's yard, scaling the trunk and up to the highest, sturdiest branches.

By the time he looks down, the malevolent trio are at the base, tearing the bark with serrated claws and still snapping at him.

Minato can do nothing but weep into his hands, barks and hisses reverberating in his ears until the sounds could only be found imbedded in his mind, as the cat and two dogs have long since departed.

Fleeing from the scene, the three animals are encased in smoke to reveal the former Team Minato who collapse to their backs, heads touching each other in a circle, gazing at the starry sky.

Rin titters from leftover adrenaline, breathlessly saying, "You were right, Kakashi. It _is_ more fun when you're participating."

Obito rolls his eyes when Kakashi titters along.

 _Had they always been this annoying?_ he wonders, but not without a fond smile.

"Though for some reason, it feels like you two had a grudge against that blond shinobi."

He and Kakashi maintain their silence in response to her observation, and in effect, their innocence.


	15. Can We Play Dress Up?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Fifteen  
 _Can We Play Dress Up?_

Kakashi drags Obito into his house after countless hours of begging from his father. The man wants nothing more than another visit by his son's best friend. He had forgotten how crazy his old man was before that notorious mission, but after a few days, he realizes Sakumo could give Gai's father a run for his money- at least, if daddy dearest ever showed his true colors outside the comfort of their little abode.

And unfortunately for Obito, the man had no problem acting normal in front of him.

He watches as his father tackles the time-travelling Uchiha into a hug with the grace of a drunken fool, rubbing his cheek against the crown of Obito's head and cooing as one does to a beloved pet. Aware of the other boy's temperament, he's certain Obito is barely tolerating such patronizing behavior.

Kakashi, after reveling in the hilarious scene before him, saves Obito from suffocation, reminding his father about the gifts he had bought with his best friend in mind.

It is only moments later he realizes he should have snuck a peek at the items his father had brought home, if nothing else, to at least forewarn Obito of his imminent mortification.

Sakumo looks so proud of himself when he flourishes a baby blue sailor uniform, and just the sight of its signature striped hat and mini-shorts makes Kakashi fall to his knees from uncontrollable snickers.

"For Tobi-chan," his father proudly declares.

He glances at Obito and snorts – Obito seems to be in so much shock. He can't even react apart from his already horror-filled eyes.

The gushing from his father continues as he then pulls out a black shirt and pants littered with tiny Uchiha fans. He proceeds to display the phrase etched into the top's fabric – _Brooding Uchiha-sama_ – and merrily says, "And this is for our moody Madara-chan!"

Kakashi dies then, pounding the wooden floors when Obito lets out a wail, bemoaning into his hands.

His father mistakes it as an excited response, evident in the way he cries out, "I'm so glad you love them, Obi-chan!" with happy tears running down his face.

When Sakumo walks them to the Academy the next day, Obito does a walk of shame, head down to avoid the stares and whispers and the unhidden laughter of his classmates. Beside him, Kakashi whistles with hands in his pockets, every now and then giggling when his eyes meet baby blue.

Who knew Obito would look so adorable in a sailor suit?


	16. Which Is More Humiliating?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Sixteen  
 _Which Is More Humiliating?_

"This is utterly humiliating," Obito angrily hisses as he takes a seat beside Kakashi in the back row, the classroom free of students for the moment.

Kakashi shrugs and says, "This would be a good time to make use of your unfortunate circumstance."

"Use?" The other time-traveler scoffs, his signature sneer set in place. "What use can I make out of something so-" he gestures at his sailor outfit, "-vile! Dammit, I used to be respected, you know. And praised."

"You mean feared."

"Psst, same thing."

"That is _so_ not the same thing, Obito." Kakashi shakes his head, amazed by his friend's arrogance. Had the Uchiha clan met this version of their black sheep, no doubt they'd welcome him with open arms. That, or boot him out of the compound for being a better Uchiha than the rest of the clan put together.

Obito continues ranting. "Point is, a man-"

"Boy," Kakashi cuts in dryly.

"-of my caliber should never be seen in a ridiculous uniform like this! I swear, those weakling Academy brats will rue the day they ever laughed at Uchiha Obito!"

"…Are you done?"

A crimson, enraged glare is directed at Kakashi who doesn't even flinch, though he would pity anyone else who looked into those murderous eyes.

With an exasperated sigh, the spiraling Mangekyō fades to black. Obito smashes his forehead against the desk before him. "Yeah… I'm done," he mumbles, feeling miserable now that his rage had simmered down.

"Good."

Two girls then enter the classroom, giggling when Kakashi glances at their blushing faces. They scurry to the front row, talking loud enough for Kakashi to hear his name being mentioned several times. He rolls his eyes and bends down to Obito's ear, whispering, "By use, I mean you could do your Tobi gig. It'll be a few more weeks before we can graduate, so have some fun in the meantime."

Obito turns his head, his cheek resting on the table top. "That's just what I need, people thinking I have multiple personalities!" he answers sarcastically cheery.

"When have you ever cared about the opinions of others? Not when you were a hyperactive brat, and definitely not when you were a psychopathic asshole. Besides, can you really say life as Tobi was ever boring?"

Well, he's not wrong.

So with a determined glint in his obsidian eyes, he jolts up from his seat and exclaims with a high pitched squeal, "Tobi, the good boy is back in action!"

He never notices Kakashi falling out of his chair, the force of a facepalm sending him to the floor on his tailbone.

But he does notice Rin walking in right at that exact moment, a piece of paper slipping from her still fingers and gliding towards the ground.

Obito looks right at her wide, bewildered eyes and flushes a deep red.

Without shame, he crawls under the table and curls into a tiny ball, wishing for Kakashi to electrocute him with a lightening technique.

Suddenly, the sailor suit is not nearly as humiliating.

 _Again, why, oh why me…_


	17. Who's The Greatest Threesome Of All?

_Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017_

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Chapter Seventeen  
 _Who's The Greatest Threesome Of All?_

"You look, uh… really cute, Obito," Rin says during their lunch break, the classroom cleared of all other children.

The Uchiha has his head bowed, chin pressed against his chest, rubbing his hands together on his lap. His eyes are shadowed like an obsidian masquerade mask, but Kakashi can clearly see the red stains across his cheeks. On Obito's left, Rin wears a tentative smile, glancing between them with inquisitive hazel eyes.

Kakashi swallows his budding snickers. "Actually, Rin, his name is Tobi. And he gets easily embarrassed by cute girls."

She tilts her head, blushing at the word "cute," and he could imagine a question mark appearing above her head. "I think I'm missing something," she comments, scratching her pinkening, tattooed cheek.

Obito finally moves, flashing a crimson glare at him and mouthing, "Shut up already."

He ignores the demand in favor of his own pleasure, continuing, "You see, Obito's not exactly sane, in fact, half the time he's pretty much a different person. This is the first time it's happened during class, though." The fabrications he's spewing amuses him beyond expectation, and he knows Obito will thank him later.

Much later.

Probably in-the-afterlife later.

"So to commemorate Tobi's first day at the Academy, my father got him the perfect outfit. You like it a lot, don't you, Tobi-chan?" he coos, skillfully disguising the teasing tone.

Rin's stare lingers on Kakashi for a moment before averting to Obito's sagged form.

Suddenly, Obito straightens and bawls, a waterfall of tears streaming down between Rin and Kakashi's chairs. "Tobi loves it very much!" he cries out miserably, tugging at his hair.

Rin still has confusion plastered on her face, but adapts to the unexpected situation in a flash.

"Blue is totally your color, Tobi-chan," she cheers, enthusiastically clapping.

Obito turns toward her, tossing a broad grin so the hatred in his eyes is hidden. "Oh, Rin-chan, you're so kind to Tobi!" he squeals, and in an abrupt move not even he had expected, wraps his arms around her neck in a hug full of childlike innocence. A gasp rings in his ear, causing him to freeze in place.

A small hand pats the top of his head and he relaxes with the first, big genuine grin seen on his face since arriving to the past, as if Rin's mere touch purified the darkness dwelling in his heart, albeit for this ephemeral moment.

Kakashi watches them before straying to his right hand, the one which had once pierced Rin's chest.

He is a pro at repressing the guilt and self-loathing lingering inside him since his unwilling role in Rin's suicide. Obito may not have realized back then, but when Kakashi first caught sight of a living, breathing Rin, he had nearly bolted from the classroom, the desperate need to sob and retch bubbling to the surface in that one split second.

But as always, he pushed those emotions and bodily functions back, took hold and shoved them down to not be felt again.

Repressing, always repressing.

And now, here Obito is, embracing an innocent Rin who is still alive…

…and his guilt and self-loathing has abated and is gradually fading. Because she's right there, in a chair, patting Obito's head, laughing cheerfully, her skin a glowing shade of pale than the greyish hue of death.

Kakashi leaps from his seat and unabashedly curls his arm around Rin and Obito.

"What are you doing?" Rin asks, raising an eyebrow.

He pouts, his bottom lip peeking through the mask. "…I was lonely," he mutters childishly.

Still patting Obito's head, she giggles. "You're so weird, Kakashi."

"Yeah, yeah! Weird, really weird!" Obito hollers, sending the other two to the floor, cupping their ears with their palms and groaning.

Kakashi is sure Obito busted his ear drums on purpose, but who would have thought he had enough backbone to bust Rin's as well?


	18. Specials

_Posted: 7 August 2017_

More than a year later and I am finally updating this work. Thank you for those who have reviewed and favorited since my absence. It was a joy to read everyone's comments and I hope you find this collection of specials enjoyable and a pleasant addition to the story, which had been notes I jotted down but never actually wrote.

 ** _IMPORTANT:_** _Series Revamped!_ I was not too happy with everything I wrote for this story, which had been a random idea I made up on the spot. This is mainly why I stopped writing it, but a few weeks ago, I re-read the entire story and realized I could fix what I hated. So from chapters 1-17, I have either corrected mistakes or improved certain scenes to my satisfaction, and chapters 12 and 14 have been completely rewritten. Obito had the most edits to his character, while Kakashi is pretty much the same.

* * *

 ** _Toying With The Past Is What We Do_**  
Specials Collection

 **I**  
 **Chapter One Alternate Perspective**

In the night sky, somewhere above Konohagakure, a black hole opens and ejects a body, which shouts an expletive as it lands painfully on the concrete below. All in the village remain none the wiser, the hole having closed seconds after releasing its baggage.

Obito snarls as he rolls off his back and onto his feet, activating his Mangekyō Sharingan and about to prepare his fists for a fight.

But then he feels a sudden breeze where there should never be a breeze. Obito quickly glances down and lets out the most embarrassed and stupefied scream he ever has. He retrieves his fallen frayed pants, looking around him and dearly hoping not to meet anyone's eyes.

He is alone.

 _That could have been humiliating… well, more humiliating…_

He soon processes what he saw on himself.

Obito swiftly tugs at his pants to peer down, noting three things.

He is a child.

He is fully human again.

And… he is a boy with all his organs intact.

 _…This body may take some time getting used to again._

 **II**  
 **Goggles**

When Kakashi sees his time-travelling partner on their second day in the past, he blurts out, "Where are your goggles?"

Immediately after asking the question, he mentally slaps his forehead.

He already knows the answer.

The Uchiha is wearing his typical Academy attire, the orange and blues seeming duller than he remembered. The discrepancy in his memories attests to how he views this older, jaded Obito compared to the younger. The goggles were once a testament to Obito's sacrifice and heroism, and that they are missing has Kakashi regarding the goggles as a manifestation of Obito's purity, before the Uchiha curse had taken hold.

It only makes sense he would leave the goggles at his apartment, maybe even throw them away.

"I don't need them," Obito promptly replies, indifferent, "so I chucked 'em."

Kakashi should reprimand him for not maintaining appearances, but honestly…

He has never been so glad to not see those damn goggles.

 **III**  
 **Hospital Scare**

Kakashi is unconcerned when Obito is absent from the Academy that morning, a week after their arrival from the future.

He suspects the man must be under a lot of stress.

The war prevented much, if any self-reflection besides the usual decision making of which side they belonged to or which jutsu to use for a counterattack. For Obito, who had been the true enemy working in the shadows since his supposed death, there had been no chance to truly reflect on the death and destruction he had caused. He had transitioned to an ally, officially reclaiming his name and fighting against Madara, and then Kaguya.

But psychologically, there was no substantial change.

Kakashi thought, maybe Obito was finally having his vastly needed introspection.

(This was a few weeks before he knew it would be years, maybe even never, before Obito would feel grief and regret over the people he manipulated and murdered. Kakashi was strangely okay with that. He guessed it was because he still blamed himself for leading his friend straight into Madara's clutches, however unknowing or unwilling Kakashi had been.)

When the clock nears noon, Kakashi's heightened hearing catches the words "hospital" and "Uchiha" from two gossiping sensei, and when Obito is the only Uchiha currently attending the Academy, Kakashi has the right to panic and skip the rest of his classes, to rush towards the hospital.

Obito had been acting oddly the last few days. He was unusually temperamental, snapping at Kakashi with little provocation, and fatigued, sleeping through class like his old child self, which of course didn't bother anyone but Kakashi.

There was also the severe headaches Obito waved off, convincing him it was nothing to worry about.

Now, sprinting to the hospital and asking for Obito's location, all Kakashi could imagine was their future bleeding into the past, Obito suffering injuries from the rockfall but without the Hashirama's cells to keep him whole and breathing, and if he himself would soon have a scar over his right eye again. And the headaches… what if Obito is losing his eyesight, or worse, already blind?

The second he gets the room number, he sprints off again. Had he recognized the area was for non-emergency patients only, he would not have slammed the door open, indenting a sizable impression into the wall.

"Obito!" he cries out, aggrieved, expecting his worst nightmare and memory turned real for a second time.

The scene he arrives at, however, has him sinking to his knees, speechless.

…

…

Obito was eating.

Eating.

Not dying of injuries.

Just eating.

The man in a boy's body had three trays of food around him, five empty ones stacked at the foot of the bed. _Munch_ , _munch_ , _munch_ , he heard as Obito masticated faster than Naruto slurping up his ramen.

With barely a glance at him, Obito greets him with a stuffed mouth, "Yo, 'Kashi!"

"What the hell is going on?" His head is already hurting.

What had he been so worried about again?

Obito swallows and picks up a dango stick. "Funny thing, that. Apparently, the Mangekyō still can't blind me, but if I don't eat, I starve." He clears the stick before continuing, "So either Hashirama's cells still influence certain factors, or," he cleared another stick, "my Sharingan and blindness _are not_ correlated. Either way," and there goes another stick, "I need to eat regularly now. I'll end up here again, otherwise," and another, "not that I mind. I forgot how delicious all this food was."

Kakashi rubs his face, his chest bubbling with a desire to cry or laugh, maybe both.

Obito had been unknowingly starving himself because he never had a necessity for nourishment after his body was reinvented.

He isn't suffering.

He isn't dying.

And Kakashi is an idiot.

Instead of crying or laughing, Kakashi steals one of Obito's plates of okonomiyaki, unrepentant even as Obito protests.

He ran all the way here.

He deserves some of this buffet.

Obito can deal with it.

 **IV**  
 **Granny Alert!**

Obito is antsy, his hands shaking and eyes darting to civilians walking by him and ignoring the struggling old woman, overloaded with several bags of groceries.

Surely one of these random people have the conscience to help her.

He had abandoned his own conscience a long time ago, had even unleashed the Kyūbi on Konoha without worrying if the Bijū crushed all senior citizens he had aided as a child. Pre-Madara Uchiha Obito died under the avalanche. He cannot adopt that role again just for one petite old lady. It would be lying to himself and those he had helped, who simply saw an innocent child possessing great compassion.

The old woman takes a couple more steps, only to gradually collapse under the weight, falling to her knees. Obito watches this with rising tension, irritated to the point of simmering anger when everyone snubs her, some accelerating their gait after squinting down at her.

Maybe…

Kakashi did say this was like a second chance.

Would it really be so bad, being even a little helpful occasionally?

The old woman readies for a second attempt, but Obito's legs jolt him forward before he could convince himself to dismiss the situation at hand.

(He is aloof, not heartless, Obito rationalizes.)

He swiftly snatches the grocery bags, sliding the handles down to his forearms and then lending a hand for her to accept. Obito is surprised when she says, "Your help is always appreciated, Obito-kun."

Shit.

She knows his name.

What is her name?

Shit.

"You are sturdier each time I see you," she continues teasingly, her delicate fingers curling around his right bicep and squeezing.

Obito nearly stumbles, tickled by the unfamiliar sensations on his right side the old woman has kindled.

He is momentarily blindsided by it, but not because of the startling sensitivity. He has the unexpected epiphany regarding the bodies he and Kakashi now have. He assumed they had replaced their past selves, but if that had been true, they would have awoken in their beds, not dropped from the sky. If their adult bodies had reverted to past conditions, then…

And yet, he _is_ strong, physically. The old woman is correct. Obito is far stronger than a six-year-old should be, than a _human_ should be, and with his chakra still massive and consumed by darkness, this kiddy body should have given out weeks ago.

"Obito-kun?"

Awareness returns to him, disrupting his jumbled analysis.

He and the old woman are standing in front of a house, _her_ house.

Memories, suppressed or forgotten, had piloted his body, it seems.

"Forgive me, Shimazawa-san. It was a rough day at the Academy," he lies.

Shimazawa.

That is her name.

She also passes away in five years, in her sleep.

He had gone to her funeral.

He had cried.

"I know just the thing to cheer you up."

Obito waits in her kitchen to soon receive a pink sucker.

He stares at the candy pinched between her fingers with his hand held out between them.

Brimming inside his chest… it is…

Affection.

Like with Rin.

Like with Kakashi

With a small, content smile, Obito accepts the sucker.

…It is strawberry flavored.

(Obito never hesitates to help the elderly again.)

 **V**  
 **Too Young To Buy**

It is here!

Still in its infancy and not yet fanatically popular, but still here and still on the front shelf with colorful pointer signs.

Kakashi presses his face against the glass of the bookstore. Had he been an adult, passing women would have probably sneered or yelled at him for his supposed perverted ways. Which is ridiculous! He is no pervert, he just… appreciates the classics and- and- and art!

(It is beautiful, beautiful art.)

As a kid, he is looking just like a kid. Bonus!

A five-year-old cannot be accused of such _dreadful_ lies… hopefully.

He glances behind himself, paranoid.

No one.

He is safe.

Kakashi then turns his gaze onto the "eighteen and older" sign and stares.

Oh.

Right…

He begins to weep.

…Never mind.

His age is not a bonus. It's a tragic curse!

(Kakashi never notices an employee pausing in his sorting to raise an eyebrow at him. Weird kid.)

Wait!

The waterfall of tears dries up.

He can steal a volume!

Well, Kakashi would never steal, but Obito, not only does he possess Kamui, the man's ethics are skewed enough to steal for him.

It is a perfect plan!

…

In the end, after explaining the contents of _Icha Icha_ , Obito says a resounding, "No."

…Meanie.

 **VI**  
 **Hatake, Uchiha**

Sakumo is unsure how to react when he receives a scroll by a Chūnin messenger, the Hokage's seal stamped on the middle.

He had not been ignorant to his son's genius in the shinobi arts, aware of Kakashi's knowledge and skill surpassing his classmates, and then there was his boredom with classes and simplistic, time-consuming homework. So he had anticipated the document of a scheduled graduation test for his son – he just didn't expect to get one so soon. He wondered why Kakashi would want this though, considering he finally found a friend.

Uchiha Obito, although mentally questionable, was the only person near Kakashi's age to bring him out of his isolation. His son looked so happy with Obito, and at first, he thought Kakashi had his first crush, but there was something deeper, more convoluted reflected in his eyes. Nothing resembling infatuation, more like… desperation and relief. Kakashi always watched Obito with a twitchy hand, as if frightened by the prospect of Obito suddenly disappearing, and eased when his friend remained beside him.

His son's perplexing blend of emotions has begun to subside, but Sakumo has yet to discover why Kakashi had them in the first place. This is not the only strange development with his son, but it is the most concerning.

The haughtiness his son once displayed also seemed to vanish overnight, replaced by an easygoing attitude Sakumo could explain away by Kakashi's boredom with the Shinobi Academy and Obito's influence.

…

When Sakumo arrives at the tower for a meeting with the Sandaime, he is stunned to be sharing his appointment with Uchiha Fugaku. The expressionless man nods to him, but he does not attempt a physical greeting, his arms firmly folded. They lean against a wall, waiting to be called into the Hokage's office. Sakumo does not bother engaging in conversation with the new Uchiha clan head.

Lost cause, he already knew.

So, he is understandably surprised when Fugaku addresses him.

"Hatake-san, I must thank you for your son's contribution to Obito's rapid growth as a shinobi potential."

Sakumo stares at him, a bit speechless but mindful of his facial expression. Otherwise, his mouth would have been wide open, unattractive and probably very rude in an Uchiha's opinion. The last thing he needs to do is threaten the friendship between Obito and his son, and since the young Uchiha is an orphan, Fugaku would be the overseer to Obito's shinobi education.

He swiftly recovers from the shock of Fugaku speaking to him. Sakumo infers from the situation that Kakashi is not planning on leaving Obito, rather, they had decided to graduate to Genin status together.

"Oh no, Uchiha-sama, all thanks belong solely to Kakashi. I appreciate Obito's contribution to my son, as well. They're good for each other."

"Hn."

Okay.

Conversation over.

He gets it.

…

…What a prick!

(His internal self imagines shaking, maybe even punching and kicking the brooding man.

Bonus points if Obito gets to watch.)

When they are summoned into the Hokage's office, he tries wiping his face of guilty pleasure for a more innocent look.

The Sandaime is hyperaware of how Sakumo's mind works, so the old man takes a long drag from his pipe to obscure his knowing, amused smirk, probably finding the thought of him and Fugaku in one room together comical, their personalities strikingly different, though that is a mild way of putting it.

"Fugaku-kun. Sakumo-kun. Uchiha Obito and Hatake Kakashi have requested early graduation, but I have to inquire any concerns, or objections, to their decisions by their legal guardians, the both of you."

"My council considers an early graduation to be beneficial to Obito's development," Fugaku explains immediately. "With recent reports from the Academy, should he begin missions, we believe his Sharingan will finally awaken."

Of course.

It's all about the Sharingan.

Never mind the Sharingan is a result from trauma.

As a parent, he cannot help but bristle at the implication of a dōjutsu being more important than a child's emotional and mental health.

(Multiple personalities aside.)

When two pairs of eyes catch his, he grimaces.

He hates attention.

Sakumo swallows what he really wants to say to Fugaku.

(And the urge to shove socks down the man's throat.)

"My son considers the Academy to be a hindrance to his potential. His standing in the class will inevitably fall behind should he remain in an environment that bores him."

He has objections, what parent of shinobi hopefuls do not? But he is positive the Sandaime will keep the boys together, and provided they are paired with a skilled and mature third member, any lingering worry would vanish.

They are given details of what the graduation test entails to help prepare the children, and while Sakumo is unsure of Obito's capabilities, he's confident Kakashi will pass without guidance from him. Now he is curious to see his son and Obito fighting one-on-one, as will be required since they are completing the exam together. Would their friendship hinder the Taijutsu portion of the test, or would it motivate them to go all out against each other?

When they are dismissed, Fugaku does not speak to him again and walks away.

The childish part of Sakumo is incapable of holding back uncouth reactions, so with Fugaku's back turned, the White Fang sticks out his tongue with a scrunched face, bent over and hands on his hips, wishing he could add some sound effects.

When he can see again, posture straight and face back to normal, Fugaku is almost out of sight, beginning to decent downstairs.

As he returns home to prepare dinner, Sakumo briefly wonders why the Uchiha's shoulders were convulsing.

Weird.

(Sakumo would have been mortified to know Uchiha Fugaku had turned back a moment to witness his break from adulthood.)

(Luckily, Fugaku was charmed and brought to laughter.

Breath of fresh air, that older shinobi.)


End file.
